When it comes to raising children, it should come as no surprise that there has been no consensus regarding a perfect methodology. The same strategies that one expert lauds as best are often decried by a similarly qualified expert, leaving parents to parse through all of the information and advice from academic studies, anecdotal evidence and their own instincts. While there is disagreement on countless aspects of childrearing, Sebastian Hirsch believes that there is at least one thing on which every expert and parent can agree.

According to Hugo, children will model even the subtlest of the parental behaviors and are quite perceptive when it comes to recognizing emotional expressions and tones of voice. When children try to express one of their own emotions, they will refer to the lessons they have consciously and subconsciously learned from their parents in order to do so. This is why so many parents will recognize a certain expression or manner of speaking as “passed down,” with it being incredibly common to hear a parent say some combination of, “he/she gets that from his father/mother,” when referring to a child’s actions.

While genetics certainly play a role in child behavior, the actions of a child are also the result of observing parent interactions. Most experts agree that positive behavior modeling by parents is a critical component of child development, so parents should work to ensure that they are modeling positive behavior as frequently as possible. Instead of taking the “do as I say, not as I do” approach, parents will find that children will quickly learn and understand positive behaviors by adopting an all-encompassing philosophy that preaches something a bit more rational, such as, “do as I do and as I say.” Parents and experts may not always agree, but there is little doubt that focusing on positive behavior modeling results in lessons that are much more clear to the intended student.